rrr-8 rrr r5<r-8 rrpr(:r.pr*|r 8 r+ r rr + r +`r rr3Zr5r++~ V$VdvWaj@+1@@E W**MO@M 4X X 1J+&1J+4 ,1 0*0j+-$,.,/h+) Y (`Zd)z~/ /*,9+? Y (`]dJ,9+?",3 ` (`ad *03,98,5+?,","# &,3 8i[ Q*A``cd,B(\0XV>,B,bvf3Jf+C`gd ,3JhLD@ <`h8\9~VMM` (EHECHY@g&~@  @@g&~@  @ H`@g&~@ @@g&~@ nItMP@e@h@M&ut@ g>e{S]<>_~;1 There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who took grain to the mill to get grist with. The miller's sun, Jack, Laid her flat on her back, AYESU#@Jnd united the organs they pissed with. puxi p; ` ~N2 There was a young lady of Arden, The tool of whose swain wouldn't harden. Said she with a frown, "I've been sadly let down By the tool o l+X]f a fool in a garden."  ScMxi pN ` !~_3 There once was a yokel of Beaconsfield Engaged to look after the deacon's field, But he lurked in the ditches And diddled the bitches Wh/SOZ0no happened to cross that antique 'un's field. w_dxj (_  4~s4 There's a charming young lady named Beaulieu Who's often been screwed by yours truly, But now--it's appallin'-- My balls always fall in! :`@ I fear that I've fucked her unduly. 8Z=6Oxj `s P I~5 There was a young girl in Berlin Who was fucked by an elderly Finn. Though he diddled his best, And fucked her with zest, She kept askin.f:oPg, "Hey, Pop, is it in?" shY\xk  p ]~6 I wooed a stewed nude in Bermuda, I was lewd, but my God! she was lewder. She said it was crude To be wooed in the nude-- I persued her,doH' subdued her, and screwed her! a6x^xk 0 p~+7 There was a young lady of Bicester Who was nicer by far than her sister: The sister would giggle And wiggle and jiggle, But this one wou3iYmAP:ld come if you kissed her. # TzUxl + ~=8 There once was a son-of-a-bitch, Neither clever, nor handsome, nor rich, Yet the girls he would dazzle, And fuck to a frazzle, And then P !3!HLditch them, the son-of-a-bitch! CJHxl 8= ( ~O9 There once was a young fellow named Blaine, And he screwed some disgusting old jane. She was ugly and smelly, With an awful pot-belly, Bk%n8^ut... well, they were caught in the rain. REN_xm O x *~c10 There was a young sailor form Brighton Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one." She replied, "'Pon my soul, You're in the wrong hog7G0rle; There's plenty of room in the right one. ;Av8xxm 0c >~w11 A lacklustre lady of Brougham Weaveth all night at her loom. Anon she doth blench When her lord and his wench Pull a chain in the neigh! nkh bouring room. Xz?xn (w  S~ 12 A middle-aged codger named Bruin Found his love life completely a-ruin, For he flirted with flirts Wearing pants and no skirts, And he B @[/H never got in for no screwin'. )Vscxn (   e~ 13 There was a young fellow of Burma Whose betrothed had good reason to murmur. But now that he's married he's Been using cantharides And |XI@ )the root of their love is much firmer. 'BK4\xo p  ` x~ -14 There was a young fellow from Cal., In bed with a passionate gal. He leapt from the bed, To the toilet he sped; Said the gal, "What aboCt4` 15 There was a young man from Calcutta Who was heard in his beard to mutter, "If her Bartholin glands Don't respond to my hands, I'm afrai o5YH Md I shall have to use butter." gYF!xp 0 > ~ P16 There once was a kiddie named Carr Caught a man on top of his mar. As he saw him stick 'er, He said with a snicker, "You do it much fas_4v}o` _ter than par." (jyxp 0 P 2~ a17 There was a young fellow named Charteris Put his hand where his young lady's garter is. Said she, "I don't mind, And higher up you'll fin>&s0 pd The place where my fucker and farter is." qM~rxq ( a  D~ u18 A young woman got married at Chester, Her mother she kissed and she blessed her. Says she, "You're in luck, He's a stunning good fuck, QO&YU8 For I've had him myself down in Leicester. >]{lxq  u Y~ 19 "For the tenth time, dull Daphnis," said Chloe, "You have told me my bosom is snowy; You have made much fine verse on Each part of my perw*rE0 son, Now do something -- there's a good boy!" >3cg{xr 8 ( m~ 20 A maiden who wrote of big cities Some songs full of love, fun and pities, Sold her stuff at the shop Of a musical wop Who played with h~ `31 There was a young lady of Exeter, So pretty, that men craned their necks at her. One was even so brave As to take out and wave The distq]0s@ oinguishing mark of his sex at her. ;.Uxx P ` @ P~ s32 There was a young lady of fashion Who had oodles and oodles of passion. To her lover she said, As they climbed into bed, "Here's one tku8AH hing the bastards can't ration!" 2\lKxx @ s 0 d~ 33 There was a young girl in Dakota Had a letter from Ickes; he wrote her: "In addition to gas We are rationing ass, And you've greatly ex9E/0 X ceeded your quota."  Rlkxy X  H x~ 34 There was a young lady named Flynn Who thought fornication a sin, But when she was tight It seemed quite all right, So everyone filled TTi:h &her with gin. `n4gxy (   ~ '35 A reckless young lady of France Had no qualms about taking a chance, But she thought it was crude To get screwed in the nude, So she alx$=fH 6ways went home with damp pants. Y&O`xz 8 ' (~ :36 A nervous young fellow named Fred Took a charming young widow to bed. When he'd diddled a while She remarked with a smile, "You've got }0 P Iit all in but the head." >2,xz : p/~ L37 There was a young fellow named Fyfe Whose marriage was ruined for life, For he had an aversion To every perversion And only liked fucki8T!~ [ng his wife. Well, one year the poor woman struck, And she wept, and she cursed at her luck, And said, "Where have you gotten us With yo,?cC~ jur goddamn monotonous Fuck after fuck after fuck? "I once knew a harlot named Lou -- And a versatile girl she was, too. After ten years ofY{7j; y whoredom She perished of boredom When she married a jackass like you!" UB Lh{! L! L! Lex_n~ 40 There was a young lady of Gloucester, Met a passionate fellow who tossed her. She wasn't much hurt, But he dirtied her skirt, So think .WBwvP of the anguish it cost her. }s1|x|   z~ 41 There was a young lady of Gloucester Whose friends they thought they had lost her Till they found on the grass The marks of her arse, ArkH 6estion's not woody but could he? i\(Ax} @ ' 0"~ 943 In my sweet little Alice Blue gown Was the first time I ever laid down, I was both proud and shy As he opened his fly And the moment I DB)yD~ Hsaw it I thought I would die. Oh it hung almost down to the ground, As it went in I made not a sound, The more that he shoved it The morO \ R We that I loved it, As he came on my Alice Blue gown. DD%)p~ 9 9B ,%~ ]45 In my sweet little night gown of blue, On the first night that I slept with you, I was both shy and scared As the bed was prepared, AndAKSy~ l you played peekaboo with my ribbons of blue. As we both watched the break of day, And in peaceful submission I lay, You said you adored it [Pyt { But dammit, you tore it, My sweet little night gown of blue. ]fy.p ] ]D@-~47 Winter is here with his grouch, The time when you sneeze and slouch. You can't take your women Canoein' or swimmin', But a lot can be d;'y*`one on a couch. $jx<x 8 (~48 It always delights me at Hank's To walk up the old river banks. One time in the grass I stepped on an ass, And heard a young girl murmuL \7h"r, "Thanks." I,^Mx  ~$49 There was a young girl from Hong Kong Who said, "You are utterly wrong To say my vagina 's the largest in China Just because of your me$+21R`3an little dong." N.#0Zx @$ 0&~550 There once was a sad Maitre d'hotel Who said, "They can all go to hell! What they do to my wife -- Why it ruins my life; And the worst W2"+,PDis they all do it well." 7wx 5 p8~G51 There was a young man named Hughes Who swore off all kinds of booze. He said, "When I'm muddled My senses get fuddled, And I pass up toZ & j`Vo many screws." 8%ecx 8G (K~X52 There were three ladies of Huxham, And whenever we meets 'em we fucks 'em, And when that game grows stale We sits on a rail, And pulls R70S8@gout our pricks and they sucks 'em. ;w cx PX @]~k53 There was a young lady named Inge Who went on a binge with a dinge. Now I won't breathe a word O f what really occured -- But her cunt MKtpXzhas a chocolate fringe. {qx xk hq~|54 An octagenerian Jew To his wife remained steadfastly true. This was not from compunction, But due to dysfunction Of his spermatic gland4~K` s -- nuts to you. 4c&x H| 8~ 55 "Snyder's got a stiff ticket," said Kay, "Come on, take it out, and let's play." He pulled it on out, But she started to pout, His tick3v;LHet was only a quarter-inch stout. 3}/Nbx H 8~ 56 A pansy who lived in Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room, And they argued all night Over who had the right To do what, and with whic|'#!!`/h, and to whom. P=;Bx 8 ()~157 There was an old lady who lay With her legs wide apart in the hay, Then, calling the ploughman, She said, "Do it now, man! Don't wait t6@|H@ill your hair has turned gray." ] xOx 81 (;~C58 There was a young lady of Lee Who scrambled up into a tree, When she got there Her arsehole was bare, And so was her K U N T. v{1IxpC`O~R59 A worn-out young husband named Lehr Her daily his wife's plaintive prayer: "Slip on a sheath, quick, Then slip your big dick Between th?L"HPaese lips covered with hair." .f&^x R ^~d60 There was a young plumber of Leigh Who was plumbing a girl by the sea. She said, "Stop the plumbing, There's somebody coming!" Said thenzv@s plumber, still plumbing, "It's me." N692ix `d Pq~w61 Il y avait un plombier, Francois, Qui plombait sa femme dans le Bois. Dit-elle, "Arretez! J'entends quelqu'un venait." Dit le plombierc!:P, en plombant, "C'est moi." E7l Tx w ~ 62 Es gibt ein Arbeiter von Tinz, Er schlaft mit ein Madel von Linz. Sie sagt, "Halt sein' plummen, Ich hore Mann kommen." "Jacht, jacht,"NpB H sagt der Plummer, "Ich binz." +Ux 0 ~(63 Prope mare erat tubulator Qui virginem ingrediebatur. Dessine ingressus Audivi progressus: Est mihi inquit tubulator. ;#0&x0 ,~)64 Have you heard of knock-kneed Samuel McGuzzum Who married Samantha, his bow-legged cousin? Some people say, Love finds a way, But for S}wbP8am and Samantha it doesn'. Fx ) :~;65 In bed Dr. Oscar McPugh Spoke of Spengler -- and ate crackers too. His wife said, "Oh, stuff That philosophy guff Up your ass, dear, an',k2XJd throw me a screw!" 9J dx `; PM~L66 There was a young lady named Maud A terrible society fraud: In company, I'm told She was awfully cold. But if you got her alone, Oh GodW01t the mustard will make you come `plus tard'." !j3x 0" :~672 There was a young lad from Nahant Who was made like the Sensitve Plant. When asked, "Do you fuck?" He replied, "No such luck. I would iIF: XEf I could but I can't." ${5KYx x6 hO~G73 There was a young man of Natal Who was fucking a Hottentot gal. Said she, "You're a sluggard!" Said he, "You be buggered! I like to fucc3-p,XVk slow and I shall." A-%Rx `G Pb~Y74 There was a young man of Natal And Sue was the name of his gal. One day, north of Aden, He got his hard rod in, And came clear up Suez U!8phCanal. 5P( yx pY `t~i75 There was a gay dog from Ontario Who fancied himself a Lothario. At a wench's glance He'd snatch off his pants And make for her Mons Ve[]pphpxnerio. X0?x pi `~y76 There was a young man of Ostend Who let a girl play with his end. She took hold of Rover, And felt it all over, And it did what she didmXnvhn't intend. Egq/x y ~ 77 There was a young man of Ostend Whose wife caught him fucking her friend. "It's no use, my duck, Interrupting our fuck, For I'm damned wVaPif I draw till I spend." :wMhx  p(~78 There was a young fellow from Parma Who was solemnly screwing his charmer. Said the damsel, demure, "You'll excuse me, I'm sure, But I oU[BH*must say you fuck like a farmer." 5Sx H 8;~.79 A newly-wed man of Peru Found himself in a terrible stew: His wife was in bed Much deader than dead, And so he had no one to screw. khmzcx . N~=80 There was a young girl of Pitlochry Who was had by a man in a rockery. Sh said, "Oh! You've come All over my bum; This isn't a fuck -- [w|`Lit's a mockery." Mzhu.x @= 0^~N81 There was a young lady from Prentice Who had an affair with a dentist. To make things easier He used anesthesia, And diddled her, `non _a.G`]compos mentis'. b\bx 8N (p~_82 There was a young man with a prick Which into his wife he would stick Every morning and night If it stood up all right -- Not a very re?o{N$~nmarkable trick. His wife had a nice little cunt: It was hairy, and soft, and in front, And with this she would fuck him, Though sometimeuTi }s she'd suck him -- A charming, if commonplace, stunt. ^(g`p0_0_BPPx[h9o it again. .^6P+x * `~;101 There was a young man of high station Who was found by a pious relation Making love in a ditch To -- I won't say a bitch -- But a womnOfXJan of no reputation. 2rDfx `; Pq~L102 There once was a dentist named Stone Who saw all his patients alone. In a fit of depravity He filled the wrong cavity, And my, how his@2DV#X[ practice has grown! JD ]x `L P~^103 A sailor who slept in the sun Woke to find his fly buttons undone. He remarked with a smile, "Jesus Christ, a sundial! And it's now a Qe G`mquarter past one." t y$ax P^ @~o104 A plumber whose name was Ten Brink Plumbed the cook as she bent o'er the sink. Her resistance was stout, And Ten Bring petered out Wit `8@~h his pipe-wrench all limber and pink. q;{x po `(~105 The spouse of a pretty young thing Came home from the wars in the spring. He was lame but he came With his dame like a flame -- A disce:Pharge is a wondeful thing. [|M{x  <~106 I wonder what my wife will want tonight; Wonder if the wife will fuss and fight? I wonder can she tell That I've been raising hell; Wo0Bz~#nder if she'll know that I've been tight? My wife is just as nice as can be, I hope she doesn't feel to nice toward me, For an afternoon of EVNJ2joy Is hell on the old boy. I wonder what the wife will want tonight! {9j,PIr as much as you want to. FUEhx : xw~L109 Une joile epousetta a Tours Voulait de gig-gig tous le jours. Mais le mari disait, "Non! De trop n'est pas bon! Mon derriere exige du ba G?h[secours!" >|9Ix L x ~\110 A pretty wife living in Tours Demanded her daily amour. But the husband said, "No! It's to much. Let it go! My backsides are draggingV|b#hk the floor." MQ5Bx \ ~m111 In the shade of the old apple tree Where between her fat legs I could see A little brown spot With the hair in a knot, And it certainl6w%~|y looked good to me. I asked as I tickled her tit If she thought that my big thing would fit. She said it would do So we had a good screpD-r~ w In the shade of the old apple tree. In the shade of the old apple tree I got all that was coming to me. In the soft dewy grass I had:qvHm~ a fine piece of ass From a maiden that was fine to see. I could hear the dull buzz of the bee As he sunk his grub hooks into me. Her ass V\H[7~x)it was fine But you should have seen mine In the shade of the old apple tree. (!N#` *hm*hm*hm*hm~jg~1115 A lad from far-off Transvaal Was lustful, but tactful withal. He'd say, just for luck, "Mam'selle, do you fuck?" But he'd bow till he [gb|uX@almost would crawl. @K~YWx" X1 Hv~C116 There was a young lady of Twickenham Who thought men had not enough prick in 'em. On her knees every day To god she would pray To leng1wkE@Rthen and stregthen and thicken 'em. sZN x" XC H~V117 There was a young lady named Twiss Who said she thought fucking a bliss, For it tickled her bum And caused her to come .siht gniyl ylbR.yH`eatrofmoc elihW *5x,4x# 0V ~g118 There once was a husky young Viking Whose sexual prowess was striking. Every time he got hot He would scour the twat Of some girl thatK1 t Pv might be to his liking. 1 { x# g p.~y119 At the moment Japan declared war A sailor was fucking a whore. He said, "After this poke `Long and hard' ain't no joke; This means monQnaPths till I get back ashore." r-jfx$ y A~ 120 There was a young lady of Wheeling Said to her beau, "I've a feeling My little brown jug Has need of a plug" -- And straightaway she s\Zp`tarted to peeling. AgM+x$ P @T~121 Two anglers were fishing off Wight And his bobber was dipping all night. Murmured she, with a laugh, "It's ready to gaff, But don't brNx&T'~+eak your rod which is light." A couple was fishing near Clombe When the maid began looking quite glum, And said, "Bother the fish! I'd r)7oT~:ather coish!" Which they did -- which was why they had come. As two consular clerks in Madras Fished, hidden in deep shore-grass, "What a j!/ n~pImarvelous pole," Said she, "but control Your sinkers -- they're banging my ass." ^h;Qfh%!P!P!Piq3n~R124 Love letters no longer they write us, To their homes they so seldom invite us. It grieves me to say, They have learned with dismay, We }u"@@a can't cure their `vulva pruritus'. "~5.Hx& XR H~e125 There was a young student from Yale Who was getting his first piece of tail. He shoved in his pole, But in the wrong hole, And a voice?KHt from beneath yelled: "No sale!" eR >x' @e 03~w126 In the Garden of Eden lay Adam, Complacently stroking his madam, And loud was his mirth For on all of the earth There were only two bax?4xXlls -- and he had 'em. kd+z6x' pw `G~ 127 There was a young bride of Antigua Whose husband said, "Dear me, how big you are!" Said the girl, "What damn'd rot! Why, you've only felbcL0t my twot, My legs and my arse and my figua!" DHYxx( 8 (Y~128 There was a young damsel named Baker Who was poked in a pew by a Quaker. He yelled, "My God! what Do you call this -- a twat? Why, th(c*H,e entrance is more than an acre!" UfL2x( H 8n~/129 There was once a mechanic named Bench Whose best tool was a sturdy gut-wrench. With this vibrant device He could reach, in a trice, Th!a.H>e innermost parts of a wench. bM4JSx) (/ ~B130 There was a young man of Bengal Who swore he had only one ball, But two little bitches Unbuttoned his britches, And found he had no bax{zohQlls at all. J\)gx) B ~R131 A chippy who worked in Black Bluff Had a pussy as large as a muff. It had room for both hands And some intimate glands, And was soft aU99}Pas a little ducks's fluff. A KGx* R x'~d132 There was a young lady named Blount Who had a rectangular cunt. She learned for diversion Posterior perversion, Since no one could fithWU%`s here in front. |SI Yx* 8d (:~u133 There was a young fellow named Bowen Whose pecker kept growin' and growin'. It grew so tremendous, So long and so pendulous, 'Twas no CHgodd for fuckin' -- just showin'. kHsx+ Hu 8L~134 There was a young lady named Brent With a cunt of enormous extent, And so deep and so wide, The acoustics inside Were so good you coulE8KXd hear when you spent. E$'}Ux+ p `_~135 There was a young girl from the Bronix Who had a vagina of onyx. She had so much `tsoris' With her clitoris, She traded it in for a Pa}s p(ckard. udNkx, p `r~)136 There was a young lady from Brussels Who was proud of her vaginal muscles. She could easily plex them And so interflex them As to whis+0%@8tle love songs through her bustles. .)/Rx, X) H~<137 There was a young lady of Bude Who walked down the street in the nude. A bobby said, "Whattum Magnificent bottom!" And slapped it as h}:Si`Kard as he could. R>x- @< 0~M138 There once was a queen of Bulgaria Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier, Till a prince from Peru Who came up for a screw Had to hu}&HH\nt for her cunt with a terrier. ,gvux- 8M ()~`139 There was a young girl of Cah'lina, Had a very capricious vagina: To the shock of the fucker "Twould suddenly pucker, And whistle the gxX>`ochorus of "Dinah." ~7Hjx. P` @<~q140 A lady with features cherubic Was famed for her area pubic. When they asked her its size She replied in surprise, "Are you speaking ofLru&QP square feet, or cubic?" %Hx. q pN~141 There was a fat lady of China Who'd a really enormous vagina, And when she was dead They painted it red, And used it for docking a lin"TGxer. erC.x/ X Ha~142 I met a young man in Chungking Who had a very long thing -- But you'll guess my surprise When I found that its size Just measured a thMk0}`!ird-finger ring! Y@#dx/ @ 0r~#143 There was a young man of Coblenz Whose ballocks were simply immense: It took forty-four draymen, A priest and three laymen To carry th}NX2em thither and thence. ~woa2x0 p# `~5144 There was an old man of Connaught Whose prick was remarkably short. When he got into bed The old woman said, "This isn't a prick, it's60dohD a wart." rl!@x0 5 x~E145 There once was a girl from Cornell Whose teats were shaped like a bell. When you touched them they shrunk, Except when she was drunk, ~)@TAnd then they got bigger than hell. )-BJx1 XE H(~X146 There once was a lady of Crete So enormously broad in the beam That one day in the ocean She caused such commotion That Admiral Byrd c0qAXglaimed her for America. Xr$A8x1 xX h<~j147 There was a young fellow named Cribbs Whose cock was so big it had ribs. They were inches apart, And to suck it took art, While to fucKC YPyk it took forty-two trips. ~et like a quoit. And she had a friend named Durand Whose cock could contract or expand. He could diddle a midge Or the arch of a bridge -:rE^8t- Their performance together was grand! R p58V8V?h[X~y155 There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different sizes. His tool when at ease, Hung down to his knees, Oh, what must it L?Z`be when it rises! beo(`x6 Hy 8e~( 156 Visas erat: huic geminarum Dispar modus testicularum: Minor haec nihili, Palma triplici, Jam fecerat altera clarum. +mg(;x6( w~157 There was a young fellow whose dong Was prodigiously massive and long. On each side of his whang Two testes did hang That attracted a PS+`&curious throng. ia{Ebx7 8 ( ~(158 There was a young man from East Wubley Whose cock was bifurcated doubly. Each quadruplicate shaft Had two balls hanging aft, And the gvYQH7eneral effect was quite lovely. ;=.x7 8( ( ~;159 While I, with my usual enthusiasm, Was exploring in Ermintrude's busiasm, She explained, "They are flat, But think nothing of that -- Y@(mg0JYou will find that my sweet sister Susiasm." GJYx8 ;  +~O160 There was a young fellow from Florida Who liked a friend's wife, so he borrowed her. When they got into bed He cried, "God strike me deax: x h w~164 A certain young person of Ghent, Uncertain if lady or gent, Shows his organs at large For a small handling charge To assist him in pay2RR h#ing the rent. gxNhCx: ( ! ~%165 There was an old woman of Ghent Who swore that her cunt had no scent. She got fucked so often At last she got rotten, And didn't she sYoHX4tink when she spent. IS_6x; `% P!~6166 There was a young man from Glengozzle Who found a remarkable fossil. He knew by the bend And the wart on the end, 'Twas the peter of Pe^`Eaul the Apostle. @4[Qx; @6 0!.~G167 There was a young fellow of Greenwich Whose balls were all covered with spinach. He had such a tool It was wound on a spool, And he re4~LO~Veled it out inich by inich. But this tale has an unhappy finich, For due to the sand in the spinach His ballocks grew rough And wrecked 1l)ehis wife's muff, And scratched up her thatch in the scrimmage. :Snp<pGpGDaG~l169 A mathematician named Hall Had a hexhedronical ball, And the cube of its weight Times his pecker, plus eight, Was four fifths of five ey5X{eighths of fuck-all.  8 (" ~!172 There was a young girl named Heather Whose twitcher was made out of leather. She made a queer noise, Which attracted the boys, By flap|=_P0ping the edges together. ! p"~3173 There was an old curate of Hestion Who'd errect at the slightest suggestion. But so small was his tool He could scarce screw a spool, 13O8BAnd a cunt was quite out of the question. oupL+x? 3 x"2~G174 There was a young man from Hong Kong Who had a trifurcated prong: A small one for sucking, A large one for fucking, And a `boney' for qNf`Vbeating a gong. .0su x? 8G ("F~X175 A fellow whose surname was Hunt Trained his cock to perform a slick stunt: This versatile spout Could be turned inside out, Like a glo$@hXdPgve, and be used a s a cunt. {)Kx@ X "X~j176 Alas for the Countess d'Isere, Whose muff wasn't furnished with hair. Said the Count, "Quelle surprise!" When he parted her thighs; "M]do8yagnifique! Pourtant pas de la guerre." T x@ xj h"k~}177 A highly aesthetic young Jew Had eyes of a heavenly blue; The end of his dillie Was shaped like a lilly, And his balls were too utterl#bUcp y two! N4pxA p} `#~ 178 There once was a lady from Kansas Whose cunt was as big as Bonanzas. It was nine inches deep And the sides were quite steep -- It had lz_ H whiskers like General Carranza's. ;F VDxA H 8#~ 179 Oh, pity the Duchess of Kent! Her cunt is so dreadfully bent, The poor wench doth stammer, "I need a sledgehammer To pound a man into JH,`ch /my vent." L"")xB  x#$~ 0180 There was an old gent from Kentuck Who boasted a filigreed schmuck, But he put it away For fear that one day He might put it in and gep O5p ?t stuck. L,VxsxB 0 p#6~ @181 There was an old lady of Kewry Whose cunt was a `lusus naturae': The `introitus vaginae', Was unnaturally tiny, And the thought of it #oX Ofilled her with fury. T9HnxC h @ X#G~ R182 There was a young fellow named Kimble Whose prick was exceedingly nimble, But fragile and slender, And dainty and tender, So he kept iqDnyX at encased in a thimble. Q-xC x R h#Y~ c183 There was a young man of Lahore Whose prick was one inch and no more. It was all right for key-holes And little girl's pee-holes, But ~:*4H rnot worth a damn with a whore. : @qfxD 0 c #l~ v184 There once was a horse named Lily Whose dingus was really a dilly. It was vaginoid duply, And labial quadruply -- In fact, he was realg\5h!ly a filly. /D(gxD  v #~!185 There was a young fellow from Leeds Who swallowed a package of seeds. Great tufts of grass Sprouted out of his ass And his balls were 9WG X!all covered with weeds. c2xH9xE x! h$~!186 The wife of young Richard of Limerick Complained to her husband, "My quim, Rick, Still grows in diameter Each time that you ram at her; @d'%*0!' How can your poor tool stay so slim, Rick?"  ;BxE (! $#~!,187 There was a young lady of Lincoln Who said that her cunt was a pink'un, So she had a prick lent her Which turned it magenta, This artfE/Z+X!;ul old lady of Lincoln. kG(6xF x!, h$8~!=188 There was a young girl of LLewellyn Whose breasts were as big as a melon. They were big it is true, But here cunt was big too, Like a qT -!Lbifocal, full-color, aerial view Of Cape Horn and the Straits of Magellan. FTRxF !=$K~!T189 A contortionist hailing from Lynch Used to rent out his tool by the inch. A foot cost a quid -- He could and he did Stretch it to threVUth!ce in a pinch. ;+y(xG (!T $c~!e190 There was a young man from Lynn Whose cock was the size of a pin. Said his girl with a laugh As she felt his staff, "This won't be muc?aABh!th of a sin." evxG !e $t~!u191 There was a young girl named McCall Whose cunt was exceedingly small, But the size of her anus Was something quite heinous -- It could+3LfH" hold seven pricks and one ball. EgTP2xH @!u 0%~"192 There was an old satyr named Mack Whose prick had a left handed tack. If the ladies he loves Don't spin when he shoves, Their cervixes%``" frequently crack. 3wLxxH P" @%~"193 An envious girl named McMeanus Was jealous of her lover's big penis. It was small consolation That the rest of the nation Of women werOnl1X"(e with her in weeness. X,oqxI p" `%+~"*194 There was a young man named McNamiter With a tool of prodigious diameter. But it wasn't the size Gave the girls a surprise, But his ryK||P"9thm -- iambic pentameter. u8xxI "* x%>~"<195 There was a young man of Madras Whose balls were constructed of brass. When jangled together They played "Stormy Weather," And lightniZIa$SX"Kng shot out of his ass. VqvrxJ x"< h%Q~"N196 A bad little girl in Madrid, A most reprehensible kid, Told her Tante Louise That her cunt smelled like cheese, And the worst of it wau%Lk`"]s that it did! >ZyxJ 0"N %c~"_197 There was ayoung man from Maine Whose prick was as strong as a crane; It was almost as long, So he strolled with his dong Extended in }A'r`"nsunshine and rain. AwxK P"_ @%u~"p198 There was a young girl from Medina Who could completely control her vagina. She could twist it around Like the cunts that are found Iny> `P" Japan, Manchukuo and China. }WHnxK "p &~#199 There was a young fellow named Morgan Who possessed an unusual organ: The end of his dong, Which was nine inches long, Was tipped withnl(zpX# the head of a gorgon. R9xL p# `&~#200 There was a young soldier from Munich Whose penis hung down past his tunic, And their chops girls would lick When they thought of his pr/={A@#"ick, But alas! he was only a eunuch. 3 kRMxL p# `&-~#&201 There was a young lady of Natchez Who chanced to be born with two snatches, And she often said, "Shit! Why, I'd give either tit For a T]=|w~#5man with equipment that matches." There was a young fellow named Locke Who was born with a two-headed cock. When he'd fondle the thing IzW _~#Dt would rise up and sing An antiphonal chorus by Bach. But whether these two ever met Has not been recorded as yet, Still, it would be div$S`w#Serting To see him inserting His whang while it sang a duet. -'LvhM (#& (#& (#&`Zw~#Z204 A girl of uncertain nativity Had an ass of extreme sensitivity While she sat on the lap Of a German or Jap, She could sense Fifth Colur]0h#imn activity. 9@CxN #Z &x~#k205 There was a gay parson of Norton Whose prick, although thick, was a short 'un. To make up for this loss, He had balls like a horse, An$8V`@#zd never spent less than a quartern. sGRvXxO X#k H' ~#~206 A farmer I know named O'Doole Had a long and incredible tool. He can use it to plow, Or to diddle a cow, Or just as a cue-stick at pooL>&Qx$ l. l-}RxO P#~ @'~$ 207 A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, But the sweetness of pitch Couldn't put off the hitch Of impotence, size Z[Y_h$ and aroma. txg(xP $ '.~$208 There was a young girl named O"Malley Who wanted to dance in the ballet. She got roars of applause When she kicked off her drawers, Bun\b@$-t her hair and her bush didn't tally. }lcLxP h$ X'?~$1209 There was a young maiden from Osset Whose quim was nine inches across it. Said a young man named Tong, With tool nine inches long, "I'rI#H$@ll put bugger-in if I loss it." Z(?lxQ 8$1 ('S~$C210 "The testes are cooler outside," Said the doc to the curious bride, "For the semen must no Get too fucking hot, And the bag fans your 5fk`$Rbum on the ride." @6"HxQ H$C 8'g~$T211 There was a young fellow named Paul Who confessed, "I have only one ball. But the size of my prick Is God's dirtiest trick, For my girHO~ H$cls always ask, 'Is that all?'" N1^axR 0$T 'y~$g212 There was a young girl of Pawtucket Whose box was as big as a bucket. Her boy-friend said, "Toots, I'll have to wear boots, For I see ErEz"H$vI must muck it, not fuck it." ^g.xR ($g ( ~$y213 When I was a baby, my penis Was as white as the buttocks of Venus. But now 'this as red As her nipples instead-- All because of the fe(.Heh%minie genus! lV7ExS $y ( ~% 214 Two roosters in one of our pens Found their pricks were no larger than wens. As they looked at their foreskins And wished they had more tK(%skins, They discovered they'd both become hens. vF xS H% 8(1~%215 There was a young fellow of Perth Whose balls were the finest on earth. They grew to such size That one won a prize, And goodness know=,XEX%-s what they were worth. z:*,xT x% h(G~%0216 To his bride a young bridegroom said, "Pish! Your cunt is as big as a dish!" She replied, "Why, you fool, With your limp little tool IivD@%?t's like driving a nail with a fish!" BbxT h%0 X(Y~%C217 A very odd pair are the Pitts: His balls are as large as here tits, Her tits are as large As an invasion barge-- Neither knows how theAV`%R other cohabits. AQIRxU @%C 0(m~%T218 A young man from the banks of the Po Found his cock had elongated so, That when he'd pee It was not he But only his neighbors who'd kny![;x%cow. owXPxU X%T H(~%c219 There was a young fellow named Prynne Whose prick was so short and so thin, His wife found she needed A Fuckoscope--she did-- To see ixHO`%rf he'd gotten in. TxV H%c 8)~%t220 A beautiful lady named Psyche Is loved by a fellow named Ikey. One thing about Ike The lady can't like Is his prick, which is dreadfulfoM{h&ly spikey. Er;xV %t )"~&221 There was a fat man from Rangoon Whose prick was much like a ballon. He tried hard to ride her And when finally inside her She thoughtv)nSnP& she was pregnant too soon. 7ps4xW & )3~&222 There was a young fellow called Rex With diminutive organs of sex. When charged with exposure He said with composure, "De minimis non )Bhh&&curat lex!" sM`(@encore, et encore. xT2sNx_ P(1 @+p~((B239 De Hispanice puella verumque Simplex oris verborumque Tulit potens vagina Hominum agmina Iterum iterum iterumque. /I+275 There was an old man of Brienz The length of whose cock was immense: With one swerve he could plug A boy's bottom in Zug, And a kitcheP% %P-Mn-maid's cunt in Coblenz. ^qg[xr -> x1"~-P276 There once was a Duchess of Bruges Whose cunt was incredibly huge. Said the king to this dame As he thunderously came: "Mon Dieu! Apr!~CYX-_es moi, le deluge!" iysrxr X-P H15~-a277 There was an old man of Cajon Who never could get a good bone. With the aid of a gland It grew simply grand; Now his wife cannot leave @gx)h-p it alone. jq~.d284 A team playing baseball in Dallas Called the umpire a shit out of malice. While this worthy had fits The team made eight hits And a giGx-WH.srl in the bleachers named Alice. ((=|xv @.d 02R~.w285 There was a young girl of Darjeeling Who could dance with such exquisite feeling There was never a sound For miles around Save of fly-cP/buttons hitting the ceiling. -5^xw .w 2e~/ 286 There was a young woman in Dee Who stayed with each man she did see. When it came to a test She wished to be best, And practice makes ZvvM`/perfect, you see. []xw H/ 82x~/287 There was a family named Doe, An ideal family to know. As father screwed mother, She said, "You're heavier than brother." And he said,7PjjX/) "Yes, Sis told me so!" vssxx x/ h3 ~/+288 A lady, by passion deluded, Found an African drunk and denuded, And -- fir as a fiddle, And hot for a diddle -- She tied splints to hi,)WLX/:s penis and screwed it. Jg@@xx x/+ h3~/=289 There was a strong man of Drumrig Who one day did seven times frig. He buggered three sailors, Four Jews and two tailors, And ended by>]`/L fucking a pig. |Z$i|xy 8/= (3/~/N290 There was an old man of Duluth Whose cock was shot off in his youth. He fucked with his nose And with fingers and toes, And he came thX 4H0ice as much fun in the middle." sa\x{ 80 (3x~0294 I dined with Lord Hughing Fitz-Bluing Who said, "Do you squirm when you're screwing?" I replied, "Simple shagging Without any wagging Aqf# H0#Is only for screwing canoeing." [}|5Fx{ 80 (4 ~0'295 There was a young fellow named Fletcher, Was reputed an infamous lecher. When he'd take on a whore She'd need a rebore, And they'd carM=;0P06ry him out on a stretcher. TAR0~x| 0' 4~09296 A young fellow discovered through Freud That although of penis devoid, He could practice coitus By eating a foetus, And his parents we,v^IX0Hre quite overjoyed. TSX?,x| X09 H42~0J297 There was a young man from Jodhpur Who found he could easily cure His dread diabetes By eating a foetus Served up in a sauce of manureU=~]x0Y. . za3x} H0J 84E~0Z298 There once was a sailor named Gasted, A swell guy, as long as he lasted, He could jerk himself off In a basket, aloft, Or a breeches-bj}lP0iuoy swung from the masthead. jJYEx} 0Z 4U~0l299 There was a young girl of Gibraltar Who was raped as she knelt at the altar. It really seems odd That a virtuous God Should answer herx'+P0{ prayers and assault her. 8N/Ex~ 0l x4h~0~300 A young man with passions quite gingery Tore a hole in his sister's best lingerie. He slapped her behind And made up his mind To add ipcLP1 ncest to insult and injury. .b>sx~ 0~ 4{~1301 A passionate red-headed girl, When you kissed her, her senses would whirl, And her twat would get wet And would wiggle and fret, And hb aG.@1er cunt-lips would curl and unfurl. k j&[x X1 H5~1#302 There was a young lady named Gloria Who was had by Sir Gerald Du Maurier, And then by six men, Sir Gerald again, And the band at the WJ$R`12aldorf-Astoria. 'bx 81# (5"~14303 Thank God for the Duchess of Gloucester, She obliges all who accost her. She welcomes the prick Of Tom, Harry or Dick, Or Baldwin, or ,*MP7`1Ceven Lord Astor. fs{x @14 054~1E304 The latest reports from Good Hope State that apes there have pricks thick as rope, And fuck high, wide, and free, From the top of one tr:KDx01Tee To the top of the next -- what a scope! brUSx 1E 5F~1Y305 A newlywed couple from Goshen Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean. In twenty-eight days They got laid eighty ways -- Imagine such ;Ou4[`1hfucking devotion! NHl@x H1Y 85[~1j306 There was a young fellow named Grimes Who fucked his girl seventeen times In the course of a week -- And this isn't to speak Of assortd*?TRX1yed venereal crimes. i8(Cx X1j H5m~1{307 There was a young lady named Hatch Who would always come through in a scratch. If a guy wouldn't neck her, She'd grab up his pecker An0M(E;@2 d shove the damn thing up her snatch. (U\lax h1{ X6~2308 There was a young lady named Hilda Who went for a walk with a builder. He knew that he could, And he should, and he would -- And he din"d@2d -- and he goddam near killed her! /6nx X2 H6~2!309 Cum Hilde autem ambulabat Homo qui aedificabat. Dixit volebat. Debet et potebat. Sic ille ducebat. Statim faciebat. Sed virginem pin_gwh20e necebat. mQBox 2! 6(~22310 I know of a fortunate Hindu Who is sought in the towns that he's been to By the ladies he knows, Who are thrilled to the toes By the tF00CR@2Aricks that he makes his foreskin do. bs^<x `22 P69~2E311 If you're speaking of actions immoral The how about giving the laurel To doughty Queen Esther, No three men could best her -- One fore7_+#P2T, and one aft, and one oral. k'e)@x 2E 6M~2W312 There was a young miss from Johore Who'd lie on a mat on the floor; In a manner uncanny She'd wobble her fanny, And drain your nuts dr[^N'`2fy to the core.   x 02W 6`~2h313 There was a young fellow of Kent Whose prick was so long that it bent, So to save himself trouble He put it in double, And instead of r`drG`2wcoming he went. 8Su{Bx 82h (6r~2y314 There was a young man of Kildare Who was fucking a girl on the stair. The bannister broke, But he doubled his stroke And finished her  @F-`3off in mid-air. CC;x 82y (7~3 315 A young man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll While bent over plucking a dingle Had the whole of Eisteddfod Taking turns at his pod While they sW=-UUP3ang some impossible jingle. 2s:x 3 7~3316 There once were two brothers named Luntz Who buggered each other at once. When asked to account For this intricate mount, They said, "4y'Hy@3+Ass-holes are tighter than cunts." nWZ)x P3 @7)~3/317 There was a young lady named Mable Who liked to sprawl out on the table, Then cry to her man, "Stuff in all you can -- Get your balloc}j6vP3>ks in, too, if you're able." : ~ix `3A P7P~3R319 There once was a girl named Mcgoffin Who was diddled amazingly often. She was rogered by scores Who'd been turned down by whores, And a:S/@3awas finally screwed in her coffin. OG x P3R @7c~3e320 A stout Gaelic warrior, McPherson, Was having a captive, a person Who was not averse Though she had the curse, And he'd breeches of brq_1`3tistling furs on. +| Gx @3e 07w~3v321 There was a young Scot in Madrid Who got fifty-five fucks for a quid. When they said, "Are you faint?" He replied, "No, I ain't, But I2x[H4 don't feel as good as I did." Ol*x 03v 8 ~4 322 There was a young fellow of Mayence Who fucked his own arse, in defiance Not only of custom And morals, dad-bust him, But most of the m:O hX4known laws of science. u .x p4 `8~4323 The woman who lives on the moon Is still cherishing the balloon Of an earthling who'd come And given her some, But had dribbled away axHwh4)ll too soon. ;_ix 4 8/~4+324 There is a young faggot named Mose Who insists that you fuck his long nose. And you'll double the joy Of this lecherous boy If you'll `jJE6H4:tickle his balls with your toes. {{3x @4+ 08@~4=325 There was an Old Man of the Mountain Who frigged himself into a fountain Fifteen times had he spent, Still he wasn't content, He simplEY}P4Ly got tired of the counting. zLS{px 4= 8T~4O326 There was a young lady named Nance Who learned about fucking in France, And when you'd insert it She'd squeeze till she hurt it, And sA|#k@4^hoved it right back in your pants. -,x P4O @8g~4b327 A studious professor named Nestor Bet a whore all his books that he could best her. But she drained out his balls And skipped up the wal~T 6q84qls, Beseeching poor Nestor to rest her. W|Nx 4b x8{~4v328 The late Brigham Young was no neuter -- No faggot, no fairy, no fruiter. Where ten thousand virgins Succumbed to his urgin's There nowTj| HH5 stands the great State of Utah. vTYx @4v 09~5329 There was a young girl of Newcastle Whose charms were declared universal. While one man in front Wired into her cunt, Anothere was engZ^BmX5aged at her arsehole. nvaU:x h5 X9#~5330 There was a young girl from New York Who plugged up her cunt with a cork. A woodpecker or two Made the grade it is true, But it totallmqw>~5)y baffled the stork. Till along came a man who presented A tool that was strangely indented. With a dizzying twirl He punctured that girG 858l, And thus was the cork-screw invented. UBu3p @5@5@(~5<332 There was a young girl named O'Clare Whose body was covered with hair. It was really quite fun To probe with one's gun, For her quimmyK\2 dX5K might be anywhere. zs3x X5< H9Z~5N333 There once was a gay young Parisian Who screwed an appendix incision, And the girl of his choice Could hardly rejoice At the horrible KGSi`5]lack of precision. `Y*m{x P5N @9l~5_334 While spending the winter at Pau Lady Pamela forgot to say "No." So the head-porter made her The second-cook laid her; The waiters wer|B@9`5ne all hanging low. pzNEx P5_ @9~~5p335 There was a young girl of Penzance Who boarded a bus in a trance. The passengers fucked her, Likewise the conductor. The driver shot oxW2`5ff in his pants. I"eMx @5p 0:~6336 The Shah of the Empire of Persia Lay for days in a sexual merger. When the nautch asked the Shah, "Won't you ever withdraw?" He replieyWsH6d with a yawn, "It's inertia." EnYyx 06 :"~6337 A remarkable race are the Persians, They have such peculiar diversions. They screw the whole day In a regular way, And save up the nig2]qEX6"hts for perversions. :>x `6 P:6~6%338 There was a young girl of Rangoon Who was blocked by the Man in the Moon. "Well, it has been great fun," She remarked when he'd done, D@Ph864"But I'm sorry you came quite so soon." f7"8Gx x6% h:H~68339 There was a young lady named Ransom Who was rogered three times in a hansom. When she cried out for more A voice from the floor Said, yGR&kH6G"My name is Simpson, not Samson." 6U(ox H68 8:]~6K340 A maestro directing in Rome Had a quaint way of driving it home. Whoever he climbed Had to keep her tail timed To the beat of his old zTh{:h6Zmetronome. !rKkx 6K :p~6[341 "Last night," said a lassie named Ruth, "In a long-distance telephone booth, I enjoyed the perfection Of an ideal connection -- I was:#. @6j screwed, if you must know the truth." O-wXx p6[ `;~6n342 Said a lesbian lady, "It's sad; Of all the girls that I've had, None gave me the thrill Of real rapture until I learned how to be a tr(kvXp6}ibade." g/Ax x6n h;~6~343 There once was a handsome young seaman Who with ladies was really a demon. In peace or in war, At sea or on shore, He could certainly ?{eX7 dish out the semen. U$M x X6~ H;'~7344 Said a girl being had in a shanty, "My dear, you have got it in slanty." He replied, "I can use Any angle I choose. I ride as I pleaseF7CW`7 -- I'm Duranty!" )^x H7 8;9~7!345 An old couple just at Shrovetide Were having a piece -- when he died. The wife for a week Sat tight on his peak, And bounced up and do1R!8`70wn as she cried. 80 efx @7! 0;K~72346 My wife is an amorous soul On fire for an African's pole. She told a coon chauffeur That he was her gopher -- And, say, did he go for 2vA|D~7Aher hole! As he creamed my wife's cunt, the coon said, "I could fuck this until she was dead!" As he plugged up her trough, I jerked mysCVqZg07Pelf off; "If that's how you feel, go ahead!" vl|p`72`72@a.m~7U348 There was a young lady of Spain Who was fucked by a monk in a drain. They did it again And again and again, And again and again and agS NCp7dain. MS;+x `7U P<~7e349 There was a young man from Nantucket Whose prick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped up hqDB{7tis chin, " If my nose were a cunt I could fuck it". *_x 7e <7z350 There was a young man from LeDoux, Whose limericks stopped at line two. g`=xx7zh<*~8351 If, inside a circle, a line Hits the center and runs spine to spine, And the line's legnth is D, The Circumfernce will be D times 3.14159U^>x8 pp#x @8 0<3~8352 To bear offspring, Noah's snakes were unable. Their fertility was somewhat unstable. He constructed a bed out of tree trunks and said, C~1l88!`even adders can multiply on a log table.' [H x 8